leap year blues.

I'm upset right now. There's now sugar coating it. I just found out that there is know hope for me to get to paralympic trails. none they finally put something up that completely made this impossible. So I've been crying most of the evening. and I've now settled into the grim acceptance. I don't know what I'm going to do. I need something to work for and now this is gone. I just don't know.... there's now doubt in my mind I'll keep swimming but I'm frustrated. So incredibly mad, and upset. I wanted this more than anything in the world and I was working my butt off for it. How can you just keep putting up road blocks against people that had already been slammed into the ground Oh lets think....6 time in one year! ARGH! *angry tears*

message from hell!

I had my first two messages from hell. Yes I said that and I'm not exaggerating. I've been really busy in school, training myself into the ground, and all the while I'm extremely sore, hot, sick, and just in general feel like crap. Plus my knots are already coming back! Like I can feel my muscles twinging trying to knot again. I mean its not like I didn't just go though 2 hours of torture for nothing, the least you can do is stay loose for 3 days before starting knot again. Plus lets not forget the charlie horses in my legs from the toxin's flittering out at night. Yeah that's been fun...

I swear If I end up going to hell (but why should I? I'm an angle right?) it will be laying on that table with someone pushing on my 7 year oold knots making me want to faint.

high school sucks.... peroid

I just made a 56 on a test (the only one for the six weeks). My average before the test was a 67 who know how low it is now... There's a way to pass for the six weeks but It's going to require me to go to geometry every morning until next Friday. I'm willing to do it problem is...I have 2 other classes in which I 1) failing or 2) on the verge of failing because I don't get the unit.

I do my homework I don't put off projects to the last minute but I mean come on! Why!

and to top it all off I got a message yesterday night (I know that sound really Ironic, you know because messages are supposed to relax you), She worked really hard on me. Now I'm really sore, and I have to go back tomorrow (and miss more school) for the next hour of my treatment.

I know you all are going to say "can't you put off the message?" the answer is no. I'm so incredibly tense right now. not just from school but also because of the way I have to read it does a number on my neck and back. This problem has been getting worse and worse since the age of 9. I have knots the size of cherry tomatoes in my neck and shoulders. last night the lady worked out 7 knots in my left shoulder, 5 knots in my right, and at least 10 other's in various spots. when I left I had a 102 degree fever.

So this is why I very frustrated right now.

And the waiting game begins.....

Well I'm awaiting/praying that my citizen will be completed meanwhile I've been training like crazy.

I've been sick on and off all week, concerting that I've been doing pretty well practice. When I swim freestyle I have been able to hold 100's under 1:24 secs! 50's under 7:30! and 100 kicks under 1:42! so I'm pretty happy. I also found out yesterday that my 100 butterfly is (as of last year) ranked 13th in the world! *grins*

yesterday I had such a sugar high, I also got a long stemmed rose from a friend that's a boy. He's so sweet. I went around school holding it. everyone was asking me and I couldn't help but be secretive:) then when I got home I made my dad sweat by telling him I had a boyfriend but I wasn't going to tell him who. that was fun!

so I'm just sitting waiting I can hear the jeopardy song playing.....

Some good news, some bad news and some really crappy news....

The good news:
I competed at regional this weekend and dropped 5 seconds in the 100 butterfly! winning my heat. and coming in 14th over all.

on Friday I found out that I *unofficially* have ALL American short course yards records other than breastroke!

The bad news:
I did poorly on my 500 freestyle adding 30 seconds.

The really crappy news:
I just found out that I can try out for the U.S. paralympic team because I'm not a American citizen. My parents have had the paper work for a while and didn't listen to me when I kept bugging them to do it. Now I can't even try out UNLESS I get it done by March 31st! We've called in some favors and wrote some letters and hopefully it will happen. but its in Gods hands now.

Plus I can't apply for those U.S. records until the paperwork passes.

So if anyone reads this please Pray please....I'm trying to keep my cool but if all my hard work goes to waste....I honestly don't know what I will do.....

so many choices!

are choice sheet for are classes is due tomoarrow. I have no Idea What to do? should I take on level english or AP english? Should I do AP or college credit U.S. history? How about French 3 or not? should I take BCIS or wait? How about Physics AP or regular? AHHHH! What do I do? there are only 2 classes I'm dead set on and those are Psychology AP and Algebra 2 AP. everything else is up in the air. so can you help me (ragdoll? if your out there) here is the problem broken down by subject

keep in mind I'm looking into becoming a Physical Therapist with a college major in physiology.

1. English 3 AP or not?- I'm in pre AP now and getting by with B's, Its a weak subject for me all in all.

2. U.S. history concurrent or AP? I will take this at the honor level because although I don't like history per say. I'm really good at it.

3. French 3 or not? I'm in french 2 now I'm passing with A's the only problem is I'm really in a french 1 class (schedule problems) and when I took french 1 last year I had a really bad teacher. I don't feel confident in french at all. but I've always had it in my mind that I would do all 4 years. I love my current teacher and the language itself I really don't want ot drop it.

4. electives?- I have to take speech this year but I need a half credit. I think my first choice is Advertisement do you think that would be fun? I want a class that would be easy but not mindless (if you know what I mean). I want to have fun, but not be wasting my time.

5. physics AP or not?- I'm a science and math person. I'm in Pre AP chemstery now and makeing A's and B+'s.

So what do you think I should do?