I've had a blst these past few days!

on thursday I went on a VI retreat to a place called camp Tyler. Its this camp that is run for the local school district for anything they need it for. they have a working farm, zip line, rope course, louge, huge lake with swimming/fishing/ and boating as possible activities, tons of trails, and cool workers. I've been there at least 15 times in my life and the novelty never wears off.

so this weekend I was up there for this VI retreat. there were 18 kids ranging in age from 6-17. It was really fun.

on Thursday we got to do the zip line. I have been on this thing many times so I've gotten over my fear of the height at which you let go so I asked the people who were hiking me up how to make this more exciting. there response "how 'bout a flip" Me: "okay" they told me how and I jumped off and preformed a 180 degree and hung like a bat for the remainder of the ride. It was so much fun! plus I gave my teachers and friends a heart attack after all I just had brain surgery.

then we went to the ti pee were we had a camp fire with hot dogs and smoors. that was also cool. we got back to the cabin at about 7:00 and the girls proceeded in having a mattress surfing contest. Of which I lost sceptically. then we listened to music and played boards games with the younger girl who were extremely cute. the older girls (aka the all-nighters) got a whole wing to are selves and talked until 3 in the morning.

the next day we got up to a sever thunderstorm. we have to clean get ready, clean and pack before breakfast. so we had fun having pillow fights, sweeping and making the pre-Medina clean the bathroom (hey I've done my time). the breakfast homemade biscuits and gray yummy and the worlds best hot chocolate. the rain had stopped by now so we got ready to go the farm to ride horses. they run a small refuge for horses there. they take care of something like 30 horse about 15 are retired race horse and the rest were either donated or saved from the slotter house. I have three horses that I have grown attached too. Coco, Sister, and Amigo. sister was donated by a monestary hints the name. Coco was born at camp Tyler and Amigo is a retired race horse that will never run again if he had his way.

I got to ride coco Mama bear allowed me to Gallup in a near by fleid. and then I got to lead sister and Amigo with some of the less sighted and unconfortable kids. Next year I doubt I'll be able to have this job again.

we also got the see the other animals on the farm including a chick hatching (a completely blind girl got to feel it it was really awsome to watch), milking a cow, feed the chickens of all things crambled eggs (yes we know the cannibals), the bunny rabbits, goats, and pigs all got a visit too.

Then we went back to the loge and ate lunch. We left 2 hour later. when I came back to school I wasn't allowed to go home because I pormised a teacher I would come do a private tutorial with her. We did what we needed to do and talked for like 20 minutes on things completely unrealated to chemistry (she's so ADHD). I came home after that made supper for my brother and sister and dad. then I had to go shopping for a wedding present for a couple that is getting married tomarrow. and my moms away on business until hopeful later today. We settled on a bathroom set (tooth brush holder, soap dispenser, garbage can, and cleanex cover). then we had it gift wrapped and we went to star bucks. I had a mint chocolate chip brownie and a grapefruit Izze. meanwhile me and my dad were having a bet to see if my brother had noticed if we were gone. I bet it wouldn't notice. then just 2 blocks form being home he called. I lost 40 dollars grrr. I came home and crashed at like 8:30.

So how was your past few days?

easter brings a new beginning.....

Well after that last post I was very upset. Then I allowed myself to get my hopes up for trying out for the canadian side. That didn't work out either. The reason? the ONlY reason I couldn't tryout is because I live in Texas and if you wanted to compete you had to declare that you were going on December 15th, But if you live inside the boarders you have until March 24th. Well I couldn't even sit up by myself on December 15th let alone think about trying out for the Paralympic team. so naturally I broke down again.

The hardest part is now I'm seeing Olympic inducements everywhere and every time I see them my heart breaks. these next 6 months are going to be hard. I know I'm going to watch the games too and that will be excrushiatingly painful.

Because I wasn't going anywhere after all I got spring break off of swimming. I used that week to really think about where I want to go and What I want to do. It was hard to force myself to move on, but at the same time I knew I must. I discided that this summer I think I'm going to focus on open water swimming. there are a few swims that I'd like to do in my life time (the English channel etc.) but I have to change the way I train to get there.

What's cool about open water is I've looked and there has not been any blind people do it. Why? I don't know, because there's no adaptations you just where a microphone in your ear and have someone tell you directions. There no walls nothing to in your way you can just swim and be free.

So I think I might do the golden gate bridge or the Escape from Alkartaz, and something in New York (lady liberty swim, brooklyn bridge swim, little red lighthouse. etc). this will kind of get my foot in the door so to speak.

Then I plan on interring the Can Am meet in Vancouver B.C. this summer and break those records. I might even go to southern zones championships for the extra compatition and the 5K open water swim.

So all in all this could have been for the best but we'll see.

leap year blues.

I'm upset right now. There's now sugar coating it. I just found out that there is know hope for me to get to paralympic trails. none they finally put something up that completely made this impossible. So I've been crying most of the evening. and I've now settled into the grim acceptance. I don't know what I'm going to do. I need something to work for and now this is gone. I just don't know.... there's now doubt in my mind I'll keep swimming but I'm frustrated. So incredibly mad, and upset. I wanted this more than anything in the world and I was working my butt off for it. How can you just keep putting up road blocks against people that had already been slammed into the ground Oh lets think....6 time in one year! ARGH! *angry tears*

message from hell!

I had my first two messages from hell. Yes I said that and I'm not exaggerating. I've been really busy in school, training myself into the ground, and all the while I'm extremely sore, hot, sick, and just in general feel like crap. Plus my knots are already coming back! Like I can feel my muscles twinging trying to knot again. I mean its not like I didn't just go though 2 hours of torture for nothing, the least you can do is stay loose for 3 days before starting knot again. Plus lets not forget the charlie horses in my legs from the toxin's flittering out at night. Yeah that's been fun...

I swear If I end up going to hell (but why should I? I'm an angle right?) it will be laying on that table with someone pushing on my 7 year oold knots making me want to faint.

high school sucks.... peroid

I just made a 56 on a test (the only one for the six weeks). My average before the test was a 67 who know how low it is now... There's a way to pass for the six weeks but It's going to require me to go to geometry every morning until next Friday. I'm willing to do it problem is...I have 2 other classes in which I 1) failing or 2) on the verge of failing because I don't get the unit.

I do my homework I don't put off projects to the last minute but I mean come on! Why!

and to top it all off I got a message yesterday night (I know that sound really Ironic, you know because messages are supposed to relax you), She worked really hard on me. Now I'm really sore, and I have to go back tomorrow (and miss more school) for the next hour of my treatment.

I know you all are going to say "can't you put off the message?" the answer is no. I'm so incredibly tense right now. not just from school but also because of the way I have to read it does a number on my neck and back. This problem has been getting worse and worse since the age of 9. I have knots the size of cherry tomatoes in my neck and shoulders. last night the lady worked out 7 knots in my left shoulder, 5 knots in my right, and at least 10 other's in various spots. when I left I had a 102 degree fever.

So this is why I very frustrated right now.

And the waiting game begins.....

Well I'm awaiting/praying that my citizen will be completed meanwhile I've been training like crazy.

I've been sick on and off all week, concerting that I've been doing pretty well practice. When I swim freestyle I have been able to hold 100's under 1:24 secs! 50's under 7:30! and 100 kicks under 1:42! so I'm pretty happy. I also found out yesterday that my 100 butterfly is (as of last year) ranked 13th in the world! *grins*

yesterday I had such a sugar high, I also got a long stemmed rose from a friend that's a boy. He's so sweet. I went around school holding it. everyone was asking me and I couldn't help but be secretive:) then when I got home I made my dad sweat by telling him I had a boyfriend but I wasn't going to tell him who. that was fun!

so I'm just sitting waiting I can hear the jeopardy song playing.....

Some good news, some bad news and some really crappy news....

The good news:
I competed at regional this weekend and dropped 5 seconds in the 100 butterfly! winning my heat. and coming in 14th over all.

on Friday I found out that I *unofficially* have ALL American short course yards records other than breastroke!

The bad news:
I did poorly on my 500 freestyle adding 30 seconds.

The really crappy news:
I just found out that I can try out for the U.S. paralympic team because I'm not a American citizen. My parents have had the paper work for a while and didn't listen to me when I kept bugging them to do it. Now I can't even try out UNLESS I get it done by March 31st! We've called in some favors and wrote some letters and hopefully it will happen. but its in Gods hands now.

Plus I can't apply for those U.S. records until the paperwork passes.

So if anyone reads this please Pray please....I'm trying to keep my cool but if all my hard work goes to waste....I honestly don't know what I will do.....